Small Talk

I'm not very good at small talk.

I've thought from time to time that this small talk would be a great skill to develop. It is after all how most people connect with each other and would be a great way for me to let people know I care about them and form new relationships. The problem is that in most of these attempts I get a sense that I'm merely putting on a mask… a very clumsy mask at that. I feel as though my poor attempt is transparent enough that people go away saying, "What a fake!". I fear they see my clumsy attempt and think of me as a sort of salesman, trying to get in their door with a contrived personal connection.

Perhaps I should risk the deeper conversations after all; maybe it is a risk worth taking… more like the blunt conversations Jesus had with people. But then there are times of great success with small talk...

The times when I really feel that I have made a deep connection through small talk have been when I've been with God previous to the conversation. I am present in His Kingdom, or still lingering there. I will approach a person and feel as though I can see them as God sees them. I have great love for this stranger. Their face and body features are a curiosity to me, created for my amusement and God's creative glory. Their personalities are God's expression of a small part of his multi-faceted infinitude. Their flaws and quirks are matters of great concern to God and at the same time, those failings are governed by grace and the hope of future victory. I feel this grace and victory, and desire it for the individual and suddenly I am asking questions that matter, calling out who they are and showing care for them and for God in them. This is something other than "witnessing", this is being as Christ to them.

This is no longer small talk. This is caring for God's creation. This is loving. This is grace. This is how I was meant to interact with others. This is humility. This is more me than any other conjured version of me. This is how what we don't believe we can do, God can do. This is what it means to submit to God. This is what it means to be transformed by God. This is dwelling with Him. This is living in His Kingdom. This is having the eyes to see and the ears to hear. This is only one example… an example as unimportant as small talk. How many small areas of your life have you allowed to go on unquestioned?

In all these small areas, are you like me as I fumble ahead putting on the best version of me for the glory of God? Are you charging ahead diligently, trying for a greater spirituality (and failing a little)?

If so, I suggest you place great value on being with God, learning to see and hear His Kingdom by submitting your thoughts to His way of seeing and doing things.

~ T. Brygger